I don’t know who I am anymore and sometimes people think I’m unstable but I’m not. If it stops returning, that may mean the emotional distance is permanent. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Joined Apr 21, 2009 Messages 90. Um, sure you can. Since about the time I got out of high school (26 now), I've found my emotional capacity dwindling little by little. Movies don't really do it for me anymore, neither do video games seem to be too compelling. (173 Posts) Add message | Report. It feels like I can't live life. You can't find a guy who's not a little bit of a jerk. It won’t hurt when you’re a grown-up!” because I’d be lying. There was a time several years ago when I would have been uncontrollably excited, now...nothing. I just don't feel the same way about my boyfriend anymore. The most important was saved for last. It's like living in an Escher painting. I have this. This is why I love Reddit. Sorry for the long post but it seems as if we have the same problem. marvelousM Sun 25-Nov-12 20:13:48. When I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years, I found that I had become obsessed with exercise. Even MAJOR life events don't seem to register. If you feel something's missing, something must be wrong and you have to figure it out before it really bothers you. I clearly have real problems with intimacy because she is crazy about me but I don’t know if I feel the same way. Thread starter pirate24; Start date May 5, 2013; P. pirate24 Bluelighter. How do i tell him i don't feel the same way anymore? I [22F] don't feel the same way about my boyfriend [23M] anymore TLDR; Not sure what counts as love and how you're supposed to feel in a relationship and wondering if … I don't remember when this started, I just remember thinking one day 'I have no emotions'. For the first year I thought she was the love of my life and the most beautiful girl in the world. What's the point of being in a relationship if it's not helping you enjoy life? When I went to the beach with my ex, and he asked me to sit beside him. Actually, it feels like I'm living life in the third person, more objectively than subjective. I find that most things that once held my interest no longer really appeal to me on the same level. ... but that doesn't mean we have to stick to someone we don't actually love anymore. You don’t understand how the person that you were sharing your life with; the person that was saying, “I love you,” just a few weeks ago can now tell you that they no longer feel the same way. If you secretly think your partner isn't as smart as you, is irresponsible, is a nag, has the wrong values, or otherwise doesn't deserve your affections, it'll come out. you are turning into a robot, they are winning. My company was based in a city near my partner and one farther way, and I found myself thinking, "you shouldn't live somewhere just to be near him, because you may not be together for long anyway.". I also don't feel like myself around him, I don't know why. Routine kills everything. TL; DR - Give it a bit, do your best to stimulate your emotions, they'll come back eventually. Don't continue to hook up with him, because, like you said, it's really not fair for either of you (and he probably will feel led on). I'm curious to know, how does it feel to be the one who no longer feels anymore? I knew I was halfway out of my last relationship when I was trying to decide where to live. Some bad shit has happened... really bad shit, but shit happens to everyone, and they come out less reserved. I've found the best way to break the rut is to do something creative and get away from the computer when you aren't working - write, artwork, volunteer, whatever. Sounds like you may either be depressed or jaded. Best of luck. It's normal to fight over small things, but fights in positive relationships end with at least one person admitting they were wrong and resolving to do things differently in the future or with both people realizing it was a misunderstanding. We tell ourselves that maybe those things weren't so important to us after all. If your fights can be summed up as one person saying "that's morally wrong" and the other person saying "no, that's perfectly fine; what you're doing is morally wrong," there's not much you can work with there. You have no desire to see them. I used to know what it feels like to be happy, sad, angry, in love, the whole range of emotions, but then slowly, bit by bit, I started to forget, until now I don't remember what it feels like to be truly happy. I have a problem I'm in a relationship only 1 month though and the problem is that my friend likes my girlfriend and he basically hits on her and I don't really feel the same about her the way I use to but I still want to be with her I need help. You might find that some of those feelings relate to the bad things that have happened to you in the past. Actually, nothing seems too interesting anymore, like the zest for life that used to be there just kinda vanished. I don't necessarily see a problem with that. Just don't program all day and go home and play wow. They call it a crush for a reason, y'all. I've occasionally hooked up with girls and have no issues performing, but the entire process of getting that far seems like such a monumental task. I'm starting to not feel the same way about my boyfriend anymore. Go outside. If you notice a few of these signs but aren't ready to end it yet, that's OK. I also lift weights daily, eat healthy, and run several times a week. I just want this feeling to end and I’m scared for my future. I'd love to find some way to fix it because I'm tired of feeling so dead. Almost everything is only interesting for a few instances, and then becomes boring and monotonous. You're probably onto something with this also. This is great, because it means that you're facing the truth and that you're opening the doors for a lot of great feelings in the future. Of course, maybe I am being to pessimistic, an incredibly happy event might do it too. I do software development and I've experienced the same thing. We see each other like every 2 3 weeks and we rarely have a meaningful conversation. I think there's emotion there sometimes, but not strong ones really. "It's only natural to want what's so familiar to you to stay the way it is, with just a few tweaks," emotional health expert and NYC-based psychotherapist Katherine Schafler, tells Bustle. Dating may have been best for you a year ago, but something else may be best for you now. For instance I have a pet. It gets better! I don't think I'm in love with you anymore" I asked her why.. she went on to say "Idk why and its really frustrating but I know that I get irritated easily by you and I feel like recently you've been acting weird and not yourself. Instead of probing her, why don’t I probe myself? And it saddens me that I can’t tell my kids, “Don’t worry! Abby Kimball We Don't Feel the Same Way ℗ Normal Records Released on: 2019-04-05 Auto-generated by YouTube. It's just plain old contentment, or just controlled disappointment when things go badly. Cookies help us deliver our Services. If you don't feel the same way you used to feel about him, i honestly don't think you should stay with him. I don't feel like me anymore nicnoc237 Hi, i think i am suffering with anxiety, but i'm scared i may have lost my mind as i don't feel like me anymore, i feel really different and out of it all the time, Everytime somebody talks to me or i talk to them i feel weird, almost like i'm not real and i have to fake things. When in doubt, Schafler recommends asking yourself, "If I somehow knew that in six months after we broke up, this person would fall in love with their dream partner and feel more loved and safe than ever before, would I feel more comfortable leaving?". When you love someone, it's hard to accept the signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. It seems to happen to everyone, that emotions become somewhat diminished as they age, things are less surprising, because you've already seen alot as you've grown. So, what has changed? There's no shame or failure in that, and it doesn't make your connection less special. I've learned after several relationships ended that transitioning to friends or acquaintances actually helped us love each other, because we weren't always arguing or trying to make each other something we're not. I don't feel the same way about him anymore! Those of us with a tendency toward depression (the empty kind, not the sad kind) run through these periods. I also have the exact same issues with sex drive. Even at 38, I still face the hurt when I realize someone I thought was a close friend doesn’t feel the same about me. Now, I don't feel like I exist anymore. I was single when I was … I asked what was wrong calmly and she responded to say "I don't think I feel the same way about you anymore.. Sort of. Sometimes, we need to see a relationship run its course and be 100 percent sure we want to break up before we do. Unfortunately they all came back in a rush somewhere in my 30s. Ponder the bits about quiet desperation and resignation and simplification and living deliberately. You can't control how someone else feels or chooses to do with their life. I changed at the same time as (or maybe because of) my first girlfriend. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. You can look them in their eyes, and feel nothing. I think it's just a phase, and it'll go away eventually. I don't feel the same way about him anymore! May 5, 2013 #1 I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Often, when we have to figure out logistics, we're forced to factor in facts that we wouldn't admit to ourselves before. Even if we view commitment or compromise as a sacrifice, we'll consider that sacrifice worth it if we really want to be in our relationship. 1 . She’s telling you that she’s not feeling love for you but rather just affection. I feel exactly the same way you do – I am a widow. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Introspect. Take a depression quiz online. But, the energy that you put in will come back to you. If you're not really feeling connected to something, but you want to be, you are going to have to start by putting in a little effort. But once we're in one, we might overlook them because everything else seems so perfect. I used to be the same way for quite awhile, and it kind of scared me (this was like right up until I was sixteen). I heard in an interview, Hugh Laurie say he realized that he was depressed when he was driving in a demolition derby, and he was bored, instead of excited. But, if you want to enhance your emotional connection to things, you need to exercise your emotions. This can be a good opportunity to reflect on the relationship. With this condition you feel like the real you is a little person inside your head, watching the world through a … i prefer it this way. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine got awesome seats to a hockey game, and while everyone in our group seemed to be incredibly excited, I just felt 'meh' about the whole thing. Has there been a love truer than what you give? If I were you, I would do this: I don’t feel the same about my girlfriend. They however don’t feel the same way about you, or they don’t feel the same way about you anymore. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You just don't care anymore. I think it's an offshoot of depression. When I graduated school...nothing. So, I don't think you have to break up the moment you realize a relationship's temporary if you're still getting enough out of it. I didn't care about friends or girls or cool things or anything. It's just simply not high on the priority list anymore, and I'm still in my early 20s. It feels like instead of experiencing life's ups and downs like most people, the peaks and troughs are diminished, like a sine wave with a much smaller amplitude. If you stay with your partner because you've noticed things about them you don't like but figure that just comes with the territory and there's nobody better out there, then you'll never find out of there is, in fact, someone better. I say this as a totally nonreligious person who sees meditation as simply a mental tool to keep your logical side in control. You'll never get to the point where someone admits they're wrong (unless they lie) if they don't actually believe they're wrong. Welcome to suburban life, where most people are emotionally dead at 16. I wasn't depressed, I was just..... meh. It's not all positive though, because with all that I also discovered that I can get angry (a new experience for me lol), sad, depressive, all that fun stuff. 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